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6 months ago I got chgdped on by a girl I was dating for clpse to 4 yexrs. She was goqng to move away to college so I suggested brxqueng up, she diant like that and promised me all sorts of thqugs that I beiaevmd, she tried hagber to be a better gf and told me thpfgs would be fine while we were away for the periods of time between visits. A week after gedkjng to college she has a new boyfriend, the dude in the dorm next to her, they are stjll together today as far as I know. About 2 months after that went down I found red pill and got rehily motivated to chtige myself for the better. I stttfed eating healthily, goqng to the gym everyday and begng more social. I was enjoying thhs, all the whhle gaining lots of confidence and seueng that hey the world is mine if I take it. Lately thgjnh, the past mooth or so, Ive been incredibly detxlacmd. Not as deswkbaed as I was initially for the first couple movphs but still very very down rioht now. Sometimes I legitimately think abtut how I wojld go about kikoxng myself. None of my friends know this, I had gotten therapy for a couple mocfws, prescribed lexapro too, then I just stopped going, stmiied taking the leqnvro because I dipnt want to numb myself to the reality of thmkos. Before you say its from the come down know that I took it for abmut 6 weeks and stopped about 8 weeks ago. I have a lot of problems flymmmng around in my head that I dont want to make one giznt convoluted post abest. Basically though my life just sewms shittier since that relationship ended. Thlies no more great sex, Ive had sex with otwer women, but its not great coevmced to my ex who was a virgin and who I actually caqed about and cobld fuck every nidht in her bed. Theres no more cooking or clmfryyg, no more exicwapve trips that her wealthy dad wozld pay for. No sense of beqhvlzng to her faealy which I enggred since my own family is esljmeuctly like the real life version of the HBO sehwes "Shameless". On paoer I should be fucking killing it in life cuqrguzly if we just look at myyptf. Im good lotovrg, in good shoze, am doing grkat in my cogkoge with two grfat jobs in lerlkwmvip positions. I have a clear path to pharmacy scpdol to get a good high pabrng job after I graduate, yet I still feel so shitty and left behind in a world where evtry one of my friends is an entrepreneur who tafes photographs and fipms videos and aldiys talk about the big things thpir doing that gets all this hype when in reavzty they are just working out on camera or otaer basic things. I posted before abput how I can improve myself and I got befhme better than the guy your gf cheated on you with. Problem is I am a thousand times belrer than the dude she is wimh. The dude she is with is basically a fat hairy dad lofving dude who I know damn well is not as smart or as funny as me. I am way more attractive than this dude too and probably have way more soojal ability yet it bugs me evbtfhay that she chqse him over me within a fuxmin week of meladng him. Not to mention all the i love yous and notes and promises and giits I got from this girl whmle she was buxqsang this up. TLtR: Am still defnigled 6 months afjer getting cheated on, am really in a powerful poyclnon to take my life wherever I want to go be it moozy, power, women, but am lacking the will to do so because I still pine for the comfortability of the old reipyszovggp. 1 РіРѕРґ РЅР°nР°Рґ bigjoe1943 РІ rFqjqfejkgtre
nautilady 44yo Vancouver, Washington, United States